Monday, June 2, 2014

Do I Worry?

The future holds unknowable tales, both fantastic and terrible.

One of the several consequences garnered from my ever-persistent anxiety is this sort of unrelenting scenario-creator. 
Where will I be in five years? 
In ten years? 
What kind of man will I become? 
What am I going to do for a living? 
Who am I going to marry?
Which career pathway should I take? 
The one that sets me up for a stable financial future or the one that makes me happy?

I'm constantly shoved forward by these thoughts. Forward forward forward. 
There are Forwards that harangue my mind, never ceasing to doubt every step I take. These are the Forwards that appear most prominently on a day-to-day basis.
But there are pleasing Forwards as well. Forwards that I envision fondly and make my mind race with serotonin and other happy chemicals.
I look forward to finding the perfect gal.
I look forward to bonding with my grandchildren.
I look forward to opening my theatre one day.
I look forward to the success of SpiceCo. Enterprises Inc.
But most shockingly (upon reflection on my morning coffee walk) I both look forward to and don't look forward to Change.
Change in myself, and my environment.
Change used to terrify me. I abhorred anything that made me uncomfortable or vulnerable.
(I'm sorry, I'm just really excited about this personal success. It's big for me, okay?)

Flip your perspective. 
Change is only a beast if you give it teeth and claws.

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